Glimpses into the Blue

It was a hot Friday afternoon in May. The earth was parched by the blazing sun. The streets of this city in the middle of the desert were truly deserted. Even the most vagrant of souls had accepted their defeat and resigned to the comforts of the indoors. I mustered the last ounce of courage and resolve left in me to pursue my mindless journey through the alleys of Doha. I kept questioning the sanity of my choice to come out at this inhumanly hour on an elusive pursuit which had started losing its purpose by the minute. I fought off the strong urge in me to turn and bolt back to my room, partly because of the fact that my destination was closer now than my room.

At this juncture, amidst all these travails I felt a wave of nostalgia lap me up in it's embrace and take me 10 years back in time. I saw myself wearing my favourite green tom and jerry t-shirt and matching shorts, waiting for my mom to get in the kitchen. And as soon as she did, I was out of the house in a jiffy joining my friend Newton (names changed for the convenience of the author to increase the possibilities of crafting an ingenious net of lies and still not be answerable to anyone) I felt immense pleasure, like when one feels when seeing a long lost friend, though in reality I had just seen him the previous evening during the match of tops (pambaram in thamizh). I wanted to spend every moment of my summer holidays with him and the neighbourhood gang loitering aimlessly in the sun. We together set out on the tricky task of gathering the rest of the gang without ruffling the feathers of any of their parents. The job was fraught with danger and demanded very high levels of caution, given the fact that no parent in his/her right senses would let his/her offspring loaf about under the scorching Sun. After the successful amassment of the army (or at least most of it) we set about on our usual daily routine which had various mouth watering activities like kabaddi, marbles, tops, seven stones and anything under the sun quite literally under the hot, unrelenting sun. I never complained about the temperature and humidity, it only seemed to bother the aged. I was never perturbed by the blistering Helios who sometimes left the old and the weak dead in his trail. I was contemplating the similarity of the ambience and the marked difference in my attitude towards it between then and now.

My reverie was cut short by a sudden bustle of voices in the air signifying substantial activity in the vicinity, quite contrasting to the deafening silence of idleness that I was subjected to thus far. I knew that I was nearing my destination, ‘The Nepali Chowk’. I took a sip of water from the bottle which I had brought from my room appreciating my resourcefulness which is an area that I’ve been found wanting quite often. I then continued my journey towards the Al something shopping complex (replace something with any of the names like falah, desman, madinath etc. found in abundance in this part of the world) It was famous, not for the plethora of electronic gadgets that it offered nor for the competitive prices but for the weekly Friday gatherings. This was supposed to be the gala event for all the blue collared denizens of Doha. I wanted to witness this carnival which never stopped come rain or shine.

The din in the air was rising steadily as I approached the brown single storeyed mall which was quite big. I entered through one of the many entrances and after crossing various shops displaying their wares in garish lighting I reached the huge central courtyard. I was dumb-founded by the sight I beheld. It was a veritable sea of humanity. I am very bad at estimating, but by any measure the crowd there was staggering to say the least. The fact that the ambient temperature was hovering around the 50 centigrade mark made the sight even more implausible. I wondered what drove them to come here in hundreds every week braving the brutal weather that they have to put up with all week long from morning to night in their line of work.

I am sharing some of the snaps from that day here:

I took courage and accosted one of the faces in the crowd. Some of the things I gathered from the chat and some that I knew already are: This is the only form of social bonding for all the blue collars in the city. Friday is the only day off in their week. They utilize it to get to know the happenings in the lives of their friends in the city. This is the only form of communication between comrades who are far from home. They do not have Yahoo, Orkut or Hotmail to connect them. They cannot afford to go elsewhere in a city built solely to entertain the oil barrons. They come here to feel being part of a group.

I decided to get mixed in the crowd and feel it from close quarters. I saw people all around dressed in their Sunday clothes (should be Friday clothes for the middle-east). I saw some carrying huge bottles of water and mirinda, some with imitation ray-bans and nikes, some chatting animatedly, some laughing from a joke just cracked, some singing movie songs and dancing, some sitting alone waiting, some having a heated discussion, some worried and one queer guy stealing a gulp of what seemed to me like booze. I saw all the emotions and moods coming together forming the various strokes which together form this picture every Friday at ‘Nepali Chowk’. The picture which had bright parts and the dark ones, dirty parts and the immaculate ones, beautiful parts and the ugly ones.

I am not here to voice the trials and tribulations that these people go through day after day. I am not here to ask questions on the importance of money in one’s life. I am not vying to pass judgements on their decision to renounce a lot of cherished possessions and comforts for the sake of earning bread. All I’m trying to do is to understand them as they are. At the end of the day I don’t think they love the sun any more than I do, but I do understand why they come to ‘Nepali Chowk’ week after week.

Nara - E.S.Posthumus

This music has been haunting me these days...heard it first in Cold Case (TV Series).

Do listen to it and leave ur comments...

Pressure maketh the post

It seems only when faced with extreme pressure do I turn to QuandarI. Coz I started writing here in a similar situation that I find myself (trapped) in now. I don’t wanna go into the details, my job is boring enough to spoil my life, I wouldn’t wanna drag it in to my blog too. But just to give you a perspective of things at stake here, let’s just say: if my boss sees me adding my share of tripe to the web when I am supposed to be adding it (the same tripe......Duh) to the gazillion lines of code, he wouldn’t think twice before lunging forward and ripping my guts off and ################# (censored for the sake of the weak-hearted readers) and did I mention that he’s a veggie.

I guess t’was a tad too graphic a metaphor to think of, but I blame Frank Miller and Zack Snyder for my hyper-active and hyper-bloody imagination. They are the creators of the 300 the comic and the movie respectively, which happens to be a very appealing and attractive package of blood and gore wrapped in beautiful landscapes and visuals created in CGI. It’s really amazing how a single movie can open up whole new avenues in the realm of movie making. Actors acting on sound stages with the whole location and elements in their minds alone, landscapes created not to resemble the reality, but to materialize the imagination of the story-teller, to mention a few. Not that it has never been done before, but I’ve not seen such an extensive and effective use of CGI in movies. For those who are wondering, no I am not reviewing the movie.........at least not now.

Coming back to the subject of revival of QuandarI after digressing lavishly, well here I am. Actually speaking I was on the look out for some topic on which I can babble at length, but I have succumbed to the endemic called 'middle-eastern-hebetudinous' (excuse me for the lack of a better name) I think it’s in the air, the symptoms include extreme laziness => lazy enough to wish that my boss will forget that I ever worked for him, so that I never have to wake up from my bed, never ending ennui => ‘bored to death’ gains a whole new meaning when you are in this part of the world, crazy timing sense => gotta wake up on a Sunday morning and rush to the office......I know this is the height of madness, (I choose to comfortably forget the fact that my Friday’s are off, but come on I can’t work when the people around the world are still in their beds doing whatever they want to (pun unintended) now don't you come back waving the time difference logic on my face) and many others. So, until I get a defibrillator and give my brain a kick-start I can’t read/write/think cohesively or intelligibly.

Being a great optimist in the truest sense (whatever that means), I stop my whines and excuses here and assure you that next time I am choking with pressure and need to vent it out I’ll be here. And in the rare event of me figuring out something to write about, I’ll definitely do it.

Almost forgot, I was overwhelmed to see a comment on my previous post, a special thanks to the kind soul, not to mention that I had to force her and numerous other unsuspecting friends of mine to endure the torture (read as, going through my blog). It is on your continuous support and inexorable tolerance that people like me thrive upon.

Parting Thought: Well I'm going back to coding, where the irony is, I myself have to add comments to the horse-s**t that I write. Now, can it get any sadder??

Here Goes Everything...

So, here goes everything (usual usage by sane beings: nothing), but I being the weird type, choose to go with ‘everything’. Now the reason for everything, is that the writer in me (I call him that because of the only reason that he writes/types on white papers) has always craved for an outlet/attention. I am tired of sitting on my hands. So overcoming all hurdles (i.e. my laziness, my reservations etc.) inevitably, the creative side of mine has come forward. I don’t know whether I can use the word ‘creative’ in this context, because I am not going to create anything new over here, just going to put across my thoughts.

What the.......???? Now I don’t know why I pondered for a long time and decided on the title ‘QuandarI’ (actually speaking it was not a very long time, just the time it takes to travel from Abu-Dhabi to Dubai in a bus, roughly 1:30 hrs, primarily because I didn't fall asleep like I usually do) I don’t believe in sun signs ‘n stuff, but I do give in to temptation when the predictions match with the reality. I, being a Geminian, characterized by the classic dual mindedness (you might call it fickle minded, but do remember, it’s my blog, so I am the boss around here) happen to have both the extremes in all my thoughts. Call it eccentricities or the alpha and omega (never mind that, I am just trying to show-off), but all my life I have been struggling to balance myself between these contradicting facets of my thoughts. So this blog is dedicated to the ever oscillating conscience (voice) inside me. Yeah, hence the quandary that is me (I) has been named ‘QuandarI’ ('quandar-me' sounds so wierd, or does it?!?)

Just in case you haven’t understood the signs yet....the primary motive of this blog is to satisfy my longing to get my thoughts out. Down here I write whatever’s on my mind. I mean, the stuff that I would like to be put out there....‘in the space’(heard this in some movie) Just to get the bottled thoughts/ideas/whines/amusements outside my system. So I can understand if you feel an overpowering desire in you to click on the bright red button on the top-right corner.

And for those of you, still reading this jabber, I have to tell you I am a little egoistic/egotistic/self-centered, but tell me frankly aren’t everyone a little self-centered. I saw this episode of Friends where Joey challenges Phoebe (hope I got the spelling right) to find a true selfless act. That set me thinking (Joey - instigating my thought process??? now, really, how sad can my life get.......anyway that's beyond the point here) I thought of the greatest selfless being - Mother. She’s a character who will go to the ends of the universe just to see her child smile. But even that is an act which proves to herself, how well she performs her role as a mother. She loves her role, she loves to see herself perform exceptionally well and succeed in her role. Because at the end of the day she needs to re-assure herself that she has done everything in her power to excel in her responsibilities. She loves the feeling inside her when she knows that she drove herself to the edge trying to be a good mother. Isn’t that the reason behind everything good? The nice warm feeling inside you that says that ‘Yeah buddy you’ve done well. You’ve done something (no matter how small it is) which just might give some meaning to your existence’.

The other side of me has already started working overtime shouting that I am wrong. How dare I doubt the purest of relations (motherhood that stretches beyond the realm of mankind)??? How can I accuse that, all that a generous soul does, finally boils down to a trivial satisfaction/feel good warmth in the heart? Aren’t they genuinely interested in the well-being of the people whose lives they touch? Mind you, I do not doubt the love and affection that goes into every good deed; I am just trying to find the real reason deep inside that drives you into doing these deeds. Ok let us make the question simpler, when you see an old lady struggling to cross the road. You go and help her because:
a) You want her to cross the road and reach the other side.
b) You cannot answer your conscience if you walk past without helping her.
So that’s my point. You do an act of benevolence, because at the end of the day it makes you feel good and not because you want to see a world without lepers (and even if your real mission was to rid the world of lepers, you do it coz you want to see yourself succeed). Now, isn’t that selfish??? The quandary begins.......

Parting Thought:
Source: My greatest teacher in life, the Idiot box. (One of these days I am going to dedicate a blog to the legend called ‘John Logie Baird’)
Assumption: Buddha aimed at eradicating desire from this world.
Thought: Oh come-on, even that is a desire in itself!!!!!

N.B. I'm new here at Blogsville, so don't mind the apparent lack of jing-bang eye-catchers in my blog. I'm a believer in a solid engine rather than colourful livery. Feel free to leave your comments behind.....(profanities are not welcome, healthy critcism is)