So, here goes everything (usual usage by sane beings: nothing), but I being the weird type, choose to go with ‘everything’. Now the reason for everything, is that the writer in me (I call him that because of the only reason that he writes/types on white papers) has always craved for an outlet/attention. I am tired of sitting on my hands. So overcoming all hurdles (i.e. my laziness, my reservations etc.) inevitably, the creative side of mine has come forward. I don’t know whether I can use the word ‘creative’ in this context, because I am not going to create anything new over here, just going to put across my thoughts.
What the.......???? Now I don’t know why I pondered for a long time and decided on the title ‘QuandarI’ (actually speaking it was not a very long time, just the time it takes to travel from Abu-Dhabi to Dubai in a bus, roughly 1:30 hrs, primarily because I didn't fall asleep like I usually do) I don’t believe in sun signs ‘n stuff, but I do give in to temptation when the predictions match with the reality. I, being a Geminian, characterized by the classic dual mindedness (you might call it fickle minded, but do remember, it’s my blog, so I am the boss around here) happen to have both the extremes in all my thoughts. Call it eccentricities or the alpha and omega (never mind that, I am just trying to show-off), but all my life I have been struggling to balance myself between these contradicting facets of my thoughts. So this blog is dedicated to the ever oscillating conscience (voice) inside me. Yeah, hence the quandary that is me (I) has been named ‘QuandarI’ ('quandar-me' sounds so wierd, or does it?!?)
Just in case you haven’t understood the signs yet....the primary motive of this blog is to satisfy my longing to get my thoughts out. Down here I write whatever’s on my mind. I mean, the stuff that I would like to be put out there....‘in the space’(heard this in some movie) Just to get the bottled thoughts/ideas/whines/amusements outside my system. So I can understand if you feel an overpowering desire in you to click on the bright red button on the top-right corner.
What the.......???? Now I don’t know why I pondered for a long time and decided on the title ‘QuandarI’ (actually speaking it was not a very long time, just the time it takes to travel from Abu-Dhabi to Dubai in a bus, roughly 1:30 hrs, primarily because I didn't fall asleep like I usually do) I don’t believe in sun signs ‘n stuff, but I do give in to temptation when the predictions match with the reality. I, being a Geminian, characterized by the classic dual mindedness (you might call it fickle minded, but do remember, it’s my blog, so I am the boss around here) happen to have both the extremes in all my thoughts. Call it eccentricities or the alpha and omega (never mind that, I am just trying to show-off), but all my life I have been struggling to balance myself between these contradicting facets of my thoughts. So this blog is dedicated to the ever oscillating conscience (voice) inside me. Yeah, hence the quandary that is me (I) has been named ‘QuandarI’ ('quandar-me' sounds so wierd, or does it?!?)
Just in case you haven’t understood the signs yet....the primary motive of this blog is to satisfy my longing to get my thoughts out. Down here I write whatever’s on my mind. I mean, the stuff that I would like to be put out there....‘in the space’(heard this in some movie) Just to get the bottled thoughts/ideas/whines/amusements outside my system. So I can understand if you feel an overpowering desire in you to click on the bright red button on the top-right corner.
And for those of you, still reading this jabber, I have to tell you I am a little egoistic/egotistic/self-centered, but tell me frankly aren’t everyone a little self-centered. I saw this episode of Friends where Joey challenges Phoebe (hope I got the spelling right) to find a true selfless act. That set me thinking (Joey - instigating my thought process??? now, really, how sad can my life get.......anyway that's beyond the point here) I thought of the greatest selfless being - Mother. She’s a character who will go to the ends of the universe just to see her child smile. But even that is an act which proves to herself, how well she performs her role as a mother. She loves her role, she loves to see herself perform exceptionally well and succeed in her role. Because at the end of the day she needs to re-assure herself that she has done everything in her power to excel in her responsibilities. She loves the feeling inside her when she knows that she drove herself to the edge trying to be a good mother. Isn’t that the reason behind everything good? The nice warm feeling inside you that says that ‘Yeah buddy you’ve done well. You’ve done something (no matter how small it is) which just might give some meaning to your existence’.
The other side of me has already started working overtime shouting that I am wrong. How dare I doubt the purest of relations (motherhood that stretches beyond the realm of mankind)??? How can I accuse that, all that a generous soul does, finally boils down to a trivial satisfaction/feel good warmth in the heart? Aren’t they genuinely interested in the well-being of the people whose lives they touch? Mind you, I do not doubt the love and affection that goes into every good deed; I am just trying to find the real reason deep inside that drives you into doing these deeds. Ok let us make the question simpler, when you see an old lady struggling to cross the road. You go and help her because:
a) You want her to cross the road and reach the other side.
b) You cannot answer your conscience if you walk past without helping her.
So that’s my point. You do an act of benevolence, because at the end of the day it makes you feel good and not because you want to see a world without lepers (and even if your real mission was to rid the world of lepers, you do it coz you want to see yourself succeed). Now, isn’t that selfish??? The quandary begins.......
Parting Thought:
Source: My greatest teacher in life, the Idiot box. (One of these days I am going to dedicate a blog to the legend called ‘John Logie Baird’)
Assumption: Buddha aimed at eradicating desire from this world.
Thought: Oh come-on, even that is a desire in itself!!!!!
a) You want her to cross the road and reach the other side.
b) You cannot answer your conscience if you walk past without helping her.
So that’s my point. You do an act of benevolence, because at the end of the day it makes you feel good and not because you want to see a world without lepers (and even if your real mission was to rid the world of lepers, you do it coz you want to see yourself succeed). Now, isn’t that selfish??? The quandary begins.......
Parting Thought:
Source: My greatest teacher in life, the Idiot box. (One of these days I am going to dedicate a blog to the legend called ‘John Logie Baird’)
Assumption: Buddha aimed at eradicating desire from this world.
Thought: Oh come-on, even that is a desire in itself!!!!!
N.B. I'm new here at Blogsville, so don't mind the apparent lack of jing-bang eye-catchers in my blog. I'm a believer in a solid engine rather than colourful livery. Feel free to leave your comments behind.....(profanities are not welcome, healthy critcism is)
